Recently we celebrated a family milestone on the top of Twmpa in the Brecon Beacons. 10 years ago, my 11 year old nephew had us Googling rude place names in the UK. It caused him and, if we’re being honest, the adults, much joy. From Twatt in Scotland, to Three Cocks in Wales and Crapstone in England. Our favourite by far was Lord Hereford’s Knob, aka Twmpa, especially when we discovered that 1980s band Half Man Half Biscuit had even written a song about it. So what started as an amusing conversation with an 11 year old, became a camping trip, and then an annual camping trip. This year, 10 years on, we returned to the beginning and made it our last trip.
For our first trip in 2015, we found Newcourt campsite. It is a lovely site with very few facilities, which specialises in accommodating children and young people taking part in their Duke of Edinburgh awards. From the campsite, the views over the Wye Valley are beautiful, and with the approach being down narrow lanes, it is secluded and peaceful. We drove to the bottom of the mountain, and hiked up, in the sunshine. It is a steep hike when you get near the top, but the path is well worn and easy to follow. At the top, we celebrated by singing “On Top of Lord Herefords Knob”, very badly and I had purchased medals for us all. Feeling like we had more energy, we then walked across to Hey Bluff, where sheep were swapped for ponies, and we could lay in the sun.
It was a lovely weekend, with a trip to Hay on Wye, barbecues on the campsite, a few beers and family time. The idea was then discussed of camping every year, in a place with a rude name.
The following year found us in the Midlands, camping in the Lickey Hills, near Bell End. We stayed on a very formal campsite. Unusual for us, but we struggled to find a more basic campsite in the area. The facilities were really good, so we definitely got what we paid for. We took the opportunity to visit Sarehole Mill and explore places which inspired JRR Tolkien when writing The Lord Of The Rings. It always amazes me that, even taking into account changes over time, many of the places in this incredible book were inspired by places in Birmingham. It is one of my favourite cities, but I think I’m unusual in that. Now we are travelling so much more, I have a literature map of the UK, and love checking out places where books are based, or authors lived and were inspired by.
The Lickey Hills were really lovely. Not as hard going as Twmpa, but the views were equally stunning and there were interesting wood carvings in the woods.
There were also tree stumps of different heights, and I made the mistake of challenging my nephew to stand on top of one – he did – it cost me £50. I supposed it saved me spending it in the Bell Pub at Bell End.
Our next trip took us to Shitterton in Dorset. An absolutely beautiful village, with a river running through the centre and pretty thatched cottages. It got its name when homes did not have toilets. Waste was tipped into the river, which narrows in Shitterton, causing a back up of, well, I’m sure you can imagine what. It certainly doesn’t deserve the name today.
This trip also took us to the Cerne Abbas Giant man and villages with Piddle in their name. Me and my sister-in-law giggling as we went for a piddle in The Inn.
There were no medals this time – instead I had caps made for all of us. These have caused a few giggles over the years, as people pass by us.
Covid upset our plans for a year, but we were soon back, wearing masks with our hats, to visit Cocking in West Sussex.
It was such a hot weekend, and the sunsets from the campsite were just spectacular. The composting toilets were not so good, due to the heat. It was the year my brother decided to make a witches cauldron and cook dinner in it. It was very tasty, but we were already so hot, having the fire going to cook a stew was not ideal.
With beautiful walks, Bignor Roman Villa to visit and the bonus discovery of the rude place name Lickfold, it was a lovely weekend.
In 2021 my sister-in-law was poorly, so we couldn’t go camping. Determined not to miss out, we first went to visit them in Suffolk and headed over to Fingringhoe for a day. There was a nature reserve which was wonderful, and we got to see young stoats playing from one of the bird hides. Such a pretty place – highly recommended for a visit. The pub in the village was very good too – my nephew managed to eat so much, he made himself sick.
The same year, we went to Beaulieu to see the cars. I have next to no interest in cars, and was not impressed to see the first car I owned in a museum – I can’t be that old. (Ford Capri, in case you are wondering.) To keep with the theme of our trips, I dragged everyone to Bucklers Hard after the museum, and it was worth it. Part village, part museum, it is an unspoilt 18th century shipbuilding village, where there are still many boats on the water. Only residents are allowed to drive into the village, keeping it pristine and peaceful, and we had another hot summer day to enjoy it.
Our next trip was another hot sunny weekend to the Peak District and Peak Cavern, also known as the Devils Arse. It got its name from the sound it makes when flood water drains from it. The name was changed to the Peak Cavern for a visit by Queen Victoria in 1842, but is now known by its original name again, which we much prefer.
With a walk across to the caves, a walk up behind the campsite, a river to paddle in and a pub which sold blue gin (I can’t recall which gin), it was another lovely weekend.
Last year saw us visiting Fanny Barks. Probably the most challenging. On the map it’s a woods near Staindrop, so we found a campsite and headed off on a walk. The woods in question was small, more of a copse, and in the middle of farmland. Not to be beaten, we climbed a gate, stuck to the field edges, got stung by nettles and then forced our way through the undergrowth into the trees. It was lovely. We came out of the sunshine into the shade and peace of the copse of trees, upsetting a buzzard, who very noisily let us know people were not welcome. It was worth the walk and the stings, for a little time in a place untouched by people.
As a bonus, we were near Durham so had a lovely day shopping and visiting the cathedral, before playing a game of “who can throw their knob the furthest” back at the campsite. You can buy Dorset knobs – who knew? I didn’t try one, thanks to the gluten, but they are hard and flavourless and definitely better for playing with than eating.
So this year we got to our 10th Anniversary and thought that at 21, if my nephew has not grown out of tittering at rude place names, he has definitely grown out of holidaying with his mum and dad, aunt and uncle. So we decided to make this our last Knobbers weekend and to mark the occasion, we all donned our caps and headed back to Twmpa – aka Lord Herefords Knob. We stayed at the same campsite, enjoyed the same views and walked the same route. It was windy, wet and overcast, but still so beautiful. The walk up was harder (thanks pneumonia for messing up my lungs), but we took our time and enjoyed the views. I think we had all forgotten that, when you get to the top, there is a lovely flat ridge, and then another horrible steep climb to the summit. In the intervening 10 years they have put steps in, to protect the ground, but it was still horrible.
Once at the top, we found some shelter from the wind and opened champagne to celebrate lovely family times together. The champagne was from Bouzy in France. What a great name for a village where champagne is made. We sang Half Man Half Biscuits song, amused some other walkers, wrapped up against the wind, and then enjoyed the walk down, looking over the Black Mountains. Back at the campsite, we destroyed the remainder of the Dorset knobs with another throwing competition and, giving the walk to the pub in Three Cocks a miss, we barbecued and drank more bubbles.
It’s been a fun way to choose locations for a regular family get together, and we have visited places which would not otherwise be on our radar. So what next? We are going to grow up and choose campsites where we can visit both a cheese maker and a gin distillery in the same weekend.
The map we used can be bought from Unique Great British Folded, Flat & Framed Maps — Marvellous Maps and if you want to hear the song click here Half Man Half Biscuit – Lord Herefords Knob
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